I Love My Family But I Don’t Always Like Them!
I love my family but I don’t always like them. It’s okay they don’t always like me either. That is the way family is for all of us. There are times when you are sitting on top of the world. Your son or daughter comes up to you when you walk in the door, gives you a big hug, and says, “ I LOVE YOU!” What an incredible feeling. You really like them then. But what about the time you are screaming at them for making the biggest mess ever. It’s going to take you hours to clean up and impossible if you were to ask them to do it. Anyway, they have run off in the other room crying, “It’s unfair.” You really don’t like them then.
It’s not just the kids you love. Your spouse is awesome too. It is the best when your spouse surprises you with something you have always wanted to do together without the kids. It is not the best when the two of you are arguing over who has been doing more for the family. Speaking of family, children and spouses are only the beginning. Let us not forget all those extended family members who add their own good and not-so-good times.
Over Christmas and New Year’,s our family had the opportunity to visit both sides of our families. It was filled with fun and frustration. We had so much fun laughing and catching up with family we don’t always get to see. It was wonderful to see reconciliation happen on Christmas Day. At the same time, you probably wished for more time with some and less with others.
To begin the new year, we escaped and went to Santa Fe. It was just the four of us this year. We had an incredible time. There were so many times of laughter and joy. Like the time we built a snowman (it was a little squatty) and the birds ate the blueberry eyes. Or all of us on top of the mountain together before going down through Adventure Land led by our daughter.
Yet in all the fun, there were still times of anger and frustration. No matter how good things can be, there is always something that tempts us to want something else. This inevitably leads to some sort of conflict with someone else. What is it about us that longs for something else?
I believe that something was planted deep within our souls by a God who wants the very best for you and me. We love our family and our family loves us. But we don’t always like each other, because we are only an imperfect reflection of the longing in our hearts. We fall short of what God wants for all of us. Even at our best, we are not even close to God’s love for us. There is a deep desire in our hearts for something else.
The temptation is to look to fulfill this longing in another person or thing. This seeking for fulfillment in others has led to countless broken relationships. We continue to seek fulfillment in another person. But the problem is you may love them but you won’t always like them. Inevitably, you and I do things that cause others not to like us. I know you may be the exception, but it is a reality.
The only way you and I can grow in our relationships is to allow our innermost longing to be fulfilled by the One who loves us unconditionally. How do we love someone even when we don’t like them? Spend time with the One who always loves you. Read the story of his love for you in the Bible. Listen to this incredible God in your prayers. See his love for you in his people around you. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God looks at you through the person of Jesus Christ and sees the one he created us to be.
It is time for us to see ourselves through this same lens. To rest our longing souls in his love. The more we see ourselves through Jesus, the more we see our family through this same vision. It doesn’t mean we or they will always do things we like. But it does mean we will be open to reconcile with them the way God has reconciled with us in Jesus Christ.
Tags: devotional, Laity Lodge Family Camp, love, Texas
February 27th, 2009 at 11:07 am
This is a very true and thoughtful piece. I have been in the middle of this quandery. With 4 kids under 11 and seeing that God has entrusted them to me – a steward. There are times that I think I need to do what I need to do as a mother because I am acountable to God… and those are the times that I will not be liked the most and maybe will not feel like I like my family alot. And there are times when I think that the cost of fulfilling my God-given mandate is too high… not being liked and likewise not liking the response I get from my family. And at those times, I have withdrawn. Hoping that I will salvage the way I am viewed and the way that they view me. It is such a struggle. Most of the times I get my piece by calling out to God and praying that He will enable me to have more grace towards the people that I love, just like He is so gracious to me. I do not deserve, but He treats me like I am the best thing that ever happened to Him. So why shouldn’t I treat and view my family the same. If I do, then I just love them for who they are, no matter what. And during those times the love and liking merges
June 17th, 2010 at 7:17 am
Thanks for the post. I can relate. It is amazing how much better we can get along with our family and bless them when we focus first on Christ and less on what other owe us.